What Causes Shyness: Surprising Reasons

April 3rd, 2017

Why-Am-I-ShyIf you are a shy person, you feel uncomfortable most of the time.
You observe other people talking and having fun, but you just cannot open your mouth and start talking to them.
To say the truth, I used to be extremely shy when I was young. And the most horrible part of it was that I did not even understand why I acted that way. If I had realized that, I probably could have stopped behaving that way. It is likely that you feel the same, as well. Thus, I am going to try to make it clear why you might be so shy. As soon as you understand it, it will become much easier to overcome this feeling.

Being an Introvert or Are You Just Shy Sometimes?

Ask yourself a question whether you are shy all the time. Are you shy even when your best friends are around you? Do you feel shy when being near a person whom you find attractive or, as well as when being together with somebody, you do not care about? Usually, the answer is no.
People are generally shy when they are in specific situations or surrounded by specific people. You may feel so at some party when you are standing beside a person you like. However, when you are out with your best friend and you are having a conversation about a common interest, you just cannot stop talking about it. Furthermore, in your everyday life, it is likely that you act more or less shy depending on your environment.
This means that you are not a shy person, you only feel shy in particular circumstances. Therefore, your question “Why am I shy?” transforms to “Why do I feel shy in particular situations?”

Reasons that May Cause Shyness

You need something from someone

Try to answer the question: who is more nervous, as a rule, the job interviewee or interviewer? Of course, usually the person who is being interviewed feels extreme nervousness. The reason is that when you really need a job, you do your best to make a good impression on the interviewer.
Similarly, people who are interested in overcoming shyness have strong need for approval of people around them. When they get in social situations, they often experience nervousness and try very hard to impress people around them.

You consider other people to be of higher value than you

So, why do you think other people are more valuable than you are? I have found out that all of us have some kind of inner system of evaluating others. Usually, it is based on the person’s appearance, confidence, authority etc.
The key to a cure for shyness is to love and appreciate yourself as you are.